As 2013 approached, I felt, as many do, that I was being given a
clean slate, a chance to order my life better - if only I could stick to
that plan.
It has long been my dream to not only run my own
business, meditate, and exercise daily, but also to resume practicing
singing several times a week and to renew my study of French. On paper,
it seemed doable. In real life, it never worked more than a day or so.
Schedules slipped and slid; everything from small emergencies to illness
got in the way.
It was tempting to fall back on the belief that I
(alone among millions, of course) lacked the willpower to keep my life
in order. In fact, new studies on habits and how they are formed can
provide us with useful information on how habits are made and kept. For
one thing, it's not our lack of ambition that keeps us from forming new,
good habits. It's that we have too much ambition too soon.
Here are some pointers:
Pick a foundational habit: one on which other habits can build.
When I surveyed my life, I realized that my busy, overcrowded office was somehow draining my energy.
Stacks of unrelated papers covered every surface; each one was a "blue
dog." something that is unique and cannot be filed with anything else.
In
the mornings, I was overwhelmed by the sight as I started to work; at
night, I was too tired and drained to tackle those piles before
quitting. Singing? French? Those were like desserts I never got to
because I couldn't get through the vegetables.
One night, I sat down to watch the return of Downton Abbey.
At the end, relaxed and transported to another time (where servants
kept everything tidy), I wandered into my office, deciding to devote a
spare ten minutes to doing some clean up.
Ten minutes later my
entire desk was organized! Energized by this, I now spend ten minutes
every evening clearing up a trouble spot: the top of the filing cabinet,
the worktable, my nightstand. Each time I do so, I feel clearer and
more energetic, able to contemplate setting up a schedule on which to
sing or study. Weeks of pile-ups are disappearing quickly.
I
actually feel motivated to do this every night, almost like a craving
for action. This is clearly the start of a good habit, one that will
continue well into the future, because it is intrinsically so rewarding.
This habit of clearing out clutter is also a foundational habit: one
which, when mastered, clears the way for other change. My energy has
increased, as has my optimism that I can fit the pieces of my life back
together.
